Like A Clanging Symbol

WHAT MATTERS MOST
“Love others as you love yourself”
How can I love others like I love myself if I’m always so hard on myself? Is that really love? But love is patient…. If I’m hard on myself, how is that using patience & equally, how is that loving myself?
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If I truly loved people how I loved myself up until now, my goodness- I’d be no good!  Love would NOT exude from my being & my representation of Christ would be horrendous!  But I do love people. Perhaps, I love others MORE than I love myself?  I am certainly more patient, forgiving & understanding to everyone than I am to myself. So what does that mean? Does that mean that I’m not truly loving Like God commands? Does that mean that all my efforts are like a clanging cymbol because I lack the agape love for myself? Oh my goodness. If this is true, then I have some loving to do!!!!!!!!!!  

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From My Heart

What has been upon my heart over this last week, is this:
Our body matters, our body is a gift God gave us, our body is like a house for all that is within us, our body is sacred and should not be treated with disrespect or sabotage. I pray that the reason why you choose to lead a healthy lifestyle IS NOT because society is telling you that you’re fat. Frankly, society can swallow it’s own judgment. Why? Because choosing to lead a healthy lifestyle isn’t about anybody else BUT YOU. If there is ever a moment that you should act selfishly, it should be to care for your body, because you DESERVE IT. Because YOU’RE WORTH IT. Because love cannot abound to others, truly, until you can act out your love to yourself. Love is an action, do for yourself because you love, respect, cherish, and believe in yourself. Words are just like a breeze passing us by, so saying and doing are two comepletely different things.

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Our body is a temple. Envision your house- do you allow just anything or anyone to enter it? Do you prefer that your house is clean, organized and presentable?  I can imagine that like myself, you do not allow just anything or anyone into your house, and you do prefer that your house is clean and presentable. So goes the same for our bodies. Our body is a keeper of what keeps us alive- think about it- heart, brain, lungs, stomache, kidneys, liver, bladder, intestines, bones, blood, muscles, etc etc.

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  If we put “allow” bad things into our body, are we protecting those things which keep us alive or putting them in harms way? Serious way to think about our bodies, huh? 
Although some deceases are genetic, we can still do our part by using wisdom with  what we eat. Our bodies need the proper nutrients in order to function at it’s maxium potential.  Eating healthy isn’t easy and it’s not always fun, and it’s OK to indulge sometimes, but what we do 80% of the time is what matters most.
Find something that works for you that keeps your body moving- a body in motion promotes longevity. If you desire to live a long life, if you desire to see your children grow up, to be around when your grandkids come along and so forth, make the change today. The people who matter the most to you are counting on you to live your life to its fullest,  to make the hard healthy choices today so you can be there for them tomorrow. Choose today.
Until next time,
Amanda

Words: either life giving or to death- choose wisely!

No one can make you do it. The only excuse holding you back is you.

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I was the girl who had a sea full of excuses, and those excuses were rooted in fear. I didn’t want to try because I thought I couldn’t do it, because I thought I’d fail anyway, because I believed the lies inside my head. I allowed the unknown to leave me complacent in life, unbeknownst to me, literally BOUND by fear. I believed I wasn’t deserving of good things, of treating myself as one who deserved the goodness of life.
Despite my beliefs and relationship with God, I was still tangled up by the lies and roots of all I was ever told as a child. Never tell your child anything negative about themselves- YOU are molding thier definition of self. It’s the most difficult thing to break out of and rebuild, don’t do it. Love your children no matter how many horrible things they do. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS believe the best, have faith, let your words be full of life, love and encouragement. I know what it is to be bashed by your parents words. It’s horrible.
So, today, choose life, not just in how you live, but in WHAT you speak. It begins with our thoughts, not everything that runs through our brain is true! Some of it is rooted in fear- fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success etc etc… The battle truly begins in our mind, and IF we can filter out the negative, then what comes out of our mouth will be life giving. Whether it be words and beliefs of your ability OR to a loved one. Our words are so vital to our success or failure. If you don’t believe in yourself from the beginning, then you’ve already failed. You ARE capable.
You ARE smart. You CAN do whatever you put your mind to. Believe that it’s possible, and for myself, I rely not on my strength, but God’s. It is truly through Him that I can do anything, and He is the ONLY reason why I’ve been able to do this. So, so, SO many times my thoughts got in the way!!  I prayed that God would send help my way, not just his supernatural strength, but people. People that are hands, feet and mouthpieces for God- He sent me 2 people. How do I know that they’re Heaven sent? Because I didn’t know either of them before I began the journey to a healthy me. I began the journey, I prayed and there they were. I’m so thankful for them, I can’t even begin to explain!  Ha. Well, until next time,
-Amanda

Loving ME

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It’s so crazy that even tho God forgives us and puts aside our sins, we still hold them over our own head. As if to punish ourselves, at least that’s how I’ve always been with myself. Being nice, patient, forgiving, accepting and loving to ourselves should be so important. However, I don’t know about you, but for me, I’m horrible with myself! They say “we’re our own worst critic” and, it is so true. How can someone love me, if I don’t love me? How can I love someone else fully if I dont love myself fully? Sometimes, our outward reactions to people are mere reflections as to how we feel about ourselves. Why though? Why is it that other people have to take the brunt of it, when it’s really an inner thing that we’re unhappy with? Outward change won’t be successful without first beginning on what’s on the inside. Deal with the heart issues. Dare to question yourself. Learn yourself, and grow to love who you are in the time being, love your body while it’s changing. Treat yourself with utmost respect and love. Let me tell you, it’s not an easy road but it’s what you need to do. However and whatever that means for you. For me, my biggest thing is getting healthier. I used my weight over the last 7 years to hide behind, I didn’t want the gawks by all those dirty men, I wanted to be hidden because I was hurt and used by all the wrong people in my past. It sickened me and I stereotyped certain nationalities because of it. Just being honest!  However, through all that hiding, I was doing more than building a fatty wall, I was putting myself through more and more pain, slowly killing myself and choosing to be satisfied with it. I allowed everything in life to just move on a treadmil. Going, going, going, going, but no destination. Countless times putting a smile on and lying so well that I was “happy” that I actually believed it myself. So, when I turned 28(just a few months ago) there was a switch, an alert that went off and my limit had been reached. God told me it was time to come out of hiding, even at that time, I didn’t grasp the exact meaning of it, I knew somehow, it was time for some serious change. It was time I started to love myself how He loves me, flaws and all, as I am and to wake my faith back up and remind myself it was time to dream again, time to have some goals. I had to tell myself it was ok to do so, ok to dream, to release that fear, to reach out again, believe again. This Journey is NOT easy, BUT I am loving every moment. God has placed people in my life to help me, and some of these people don’t even realize that God is using them. It’s not alot of people, but I am ever greatful for each and every one, whether they’ve been in my life for years, or if they just barely came in my life within the last few months. Here’s to loving ME, and letting the real Amanda, who God truly created to shine, to blossom.

Dear Old Self

I have since parted from your actions and immature ways, however, you seem to have left your mindset of failure and fear here with me.  I have been using it this whole time because I didn’t realize it belonged to you. So familiar this mindset was to me, I didn’t realize how debilitating it has been to my life.  Causing much unnecessary chaos, stress and doubt in life. 
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It’s time, old self, that you take your mindset back.  I want to not fear goals, I want to know that no goal or dream is too big for me.  This mindset is all you have known, and it used to be all I knew too.  This mindset has kept us linked together and it’s way past due that we sever our ties. So, take your exceptance of complacency, your file cabinet of excuses, your inconsistency, your will to control something except for yourself, and your treadmill of going and never getting. I’m done with it.  I desire to finally move forward. 
This is the year that I treat myself for who God says I am, not for who I used to be and what, you, old self deserves.  I am deserving, I am worthy of the goodness of God. I am deserving of the ability to dream, the freedom to make a goal.  You know what else, I AM CAPABLE!!!!
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Sincerely, the real me.

28

Because she owed it to herself to keep going… 
And on her 28th year, she rose up.  Out of the ashes, outshined in beauty.

“You’re time has come,” her maker said,
“You’re outfitted in facets of my light, ready. You’re my diamond brought out of darkness. There’s no more hiding, you are worth far more than precious rubies, my prized possession.”

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My Heart In Ink