Somehow

Somehow it happened.
It slipped passed my guards.
But maybe I had my guard down so the moment of attack was easy.
Mixed between who I am yet being drawn in the opposite direction.
Partially fighting my way back out, closing the door yet still enjoying the moments that should never happen
Releasing words that should stay in silence
What is happening?
So indecisive.
Knowing what’s right-
But you are not it, but you’re still here.
Knowing I should close the door
But you’re still there.
Somehow caught up in this complicated game when I said I’d never play games- here I am. 
Why a connection?
No no no. Then it made it worse.
What’s happening?
I keep hoping you’ll leave on your own but silently hope you’ll stay.
But if I let you stay, I might just lose it all.
Somehow.
Somehow it happened.
Somehow I need help,
I pray God will close the door
I am too weak to shut it on my own-
Because I want the door open but who I truly am and am continuing into cannot have an open door to you.
Connection, distance, coincidences, familiarities, commons & mutual friendships
Perhaps not by chance but by purpose but what purpose?
A greater purpose beyond what I see?
Maybe this door was broken into,
Maybe the key didn’t come until later.
Somehow.
Somehow it happened.

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