Maybe I have had this for a lot longer
But it was dormant
The cause, however, of much issue
The roots, miles deep
And even though, I have survived through my own life
I has been hard to keep happiness by my side.
It is no wonder that I had to “fake it till I made it” through most of my life
Just a smile, but inside, I am wishing I didn’t have to speak.
My heart will give and give and give
Until I am left empty-handed.
I never thought much of it, I just assumed that was how life was
That this struggle I battle inside my own head was just a life-sentence
I recently had to come to some acceptance
I had to choose to remove the eye mask and come to the realization
THAT I NEEDED HELP .
I had to realize that I have spent years trying to do it on my own,
Trying to make this “depression” go away on its own.
I only kept self-sabotaging myself, over and over.
The expected self-reaction, always disappointed and frustrated with myself.
This is a season stripped down, of all the added things
Keeping up with only the bare minimum
So that I can face this head-on
And focus on healing that hurt little girl that affects my daily choices
It’s time for some major self-care
It’s time to do some deep cleaning, time to scrub the walls and the floors
All the corners and cracks.
To be successful, I have to admit that I need a little help.
I have to accept that not only do I deal with anxiety, but also depression.
I will be okay, I will overcome this
I wish I could say I won’t need help for the rest of my life,
Only God knows and only with God’s help can I do this.
The first step to freedom, is Acceptance.