Searching for the non-existent fault

Every day you amaze me.

With the inner feelings of why?

Why do you love me?

I am so bad.

I make so many mistakes.

I am always fighting.

When I think I’ve really made you mad, you surprise me.

All that exudes is peace.

Deep inside I can’t imagine how someone like you is actually real.

So I search.

I search for a fault,

for a secret,

a second life,

your mistakes at hiding.

I search because

All I have ever known is

Disappointment and rejection.

I fight to hold these walls up still

Because I somehow think that

Someone could never love me like you do,

because I somehow think that there has to be something wrong.

As the days and months go by,

my fight to uphold this wall

is slowly disintegrating.

Your unwavering love is like a warm bubble bath.

So soothing.

The exact ingredient I need.