An opportunity has been presented to me and want to know the truth? I’ve been avoiding anything that has to do with it… but today, after being asked yet again, I had to self-evaluate. Why am I acting this way? Why do I feel as tho I’ve stopped breathing and my heart has sunk to my stomach? The answer came so clearly, “because I’m scared”. Wow. As I felt that truth ring through, I saw that conquering our fears are often alot like an addict’s first step: admitting to thier addiction. I had to acknowledge the specific fear…. and ask, “why am I scared of this?” The answer? Because I’m afraid that I’ll fail & do not know enough… as if I’m unknowledgeable of this particular thing. What if that fear is just an imaginary wall I’ve just set up inside my head? Because staying where I’m at is safe, while stepping out and taking on more responsibility is what I’m destined for but I’m holding myself back….because “I’m scared”.
I remember years ago when this opportunity was just a “maybe, one day, but I don’t think so” and suddenly it’s become a reality and I’m the only one on the verge on turning my own dreams down? What is it with self-sabotaging and fear of failure? My whole life, bound by fear of so much, being fed that I was destined to be a failure all my life….
I am so thankful to be at a place that I am recognizing those fears, and putting them where they belong- Beneath me. So, I may be scared to death and I may not have a clue how I’m gonna do it, but I have to trust that the person asking this of me is only doing so, because it’s finally time.
I know that God has so much planned for me to do in this life and alot of it, I am afraid of!!! These things, I am wholeheartedly passionate for, all the more reason for me to push. We can’t ever enter into greatness if we’re too comfortable staying small! Until next time,
-Amanda
Diamond Rising 
This is what I needed to read. I am starting out on a new adventure that I want to do but I am terrified. Thanks for this.