Pause

Settle me in sand and sea

To see the seashells and feel the breeze

Running through my hair

Brushing past my face

Breathing in deeply, the salty breeze

So refreshing, so soothing

Close my eyes, envisioning light

Bright white

Protected

Bubble of light about my being

Sun shining down on me as the Son does

Warmth of peace

All is well, while chaos scatters itself

No fear,

remnants only graduate upon completion.

Mind chatter, loud and clear

Counted are your tears in a bottle

In darkness, your screams are heard

But to embrace a shadow

Self.

Embrace wholly, fully entirely

All versions, all pasts

You are one in the same

Rejoice you are complete

Ready to live fully in what was only a child’s dream

Firmly stanced,

Armored in love,

Crowned in light.

Mighty warrior, sweet, beautiful soul

Fly like your inner child

Those wings belong to you

Release.

Rejoice.

Rest.

All is well, my dear.

All is well.

Self-Care

Life got too chaotic

Tried to keep up

I couldn’t

Lost something that I knew God had already closed the door to

Still, I was shook to my core

Ignorance was my friend

Then, like clockwork

Panic set in

This time, it was historical

Like an earthquake no one ever expects

I was caught in a trap that I couldn’t get out of

its’ aftershocks sent me spiraling down

Into depression

Loss for want,

Loss for focus,

Loss for ability.

Fear crept in, whispering

“what if it happens again?”

The very thought flooded my eyes with more tears

But deep down I knew I had help,

I knew that I had God’s Favor and Grace

It was just up to me to force myself back up

out of the rubble,

Out of fear’s underground shelter

I did what I’ve known best through the years

Like a fighter in the ring who took a hard blow

I slowly got back up

Each day gets easier,

I have begun to pick up the pieces

Today, I’m winning

Self-care, my professors said

First and foremost, is ME.

This is self-care.

Prayer is my self-care

Perhaps saving me from my old self

Awakening new avenues within that never used to exist before

But it’s time

It’s the season

Today I awaken a new level of focus

Awakened levels and avenues, and thought processes

Keys to who I am today to who I will be tomorrow

Self-care they said.

Self-care will keep the anxiety at bay

Success in hand.

Today I’m Winning.